Why is it so hard…
For us to accept help?
Why do we think we can be experts in all areas?
Why do we think our own children will be automatically exempt from language delays?
Why don’t we ask more questions?
Why don’t we go to all lengths to see progress, even if that means humbling ourselves a bit?
Today I’m sharing a bit from my heart on this blog, as a speech language pathologist, but also as a mommy.
Yep. That dreaded 18 month milestone has come and gone we’re all still waiting around over here to hear those first few words.
On any given day he will say either “da” or “ma” and stick with that sound. So…on the days it is “ma,” I’ll happily ask him to say “mama” all day long and he does (which makes my heart giddy). But…when asked to say “dada” or “baby” or any other word, it is still “ma.” Ugh.
I comforted myself by saying things like “He IS a boy. Boys typically develop later than girls.” or “He’s very active. His language skills have just taken a backseat.” “He has a sister who talks every. single. moment of the day. He gets a lot of talking done for him.” or even “He just had a baby sister. His world is a little upside down right now.” And those are all true. And they for sure have contributed. But…I’ve finally had to admit it:
“He has a language delay.”
And do you know what? It was sort of a relief when I finally admitted it. Parenting sure is humbling, isn’t it? I made the call to Help Me Grow and set up an evaluation….by another SLP.
Yep. I’m a speech language pathologist who needs a speech language pathologist’s help.
I struggled with this. Actually, I’ve been up at night struggling with it (and let me tell you, anything that keeps you up at night when you have a newborn getting you up every few hours anyway is not a good thing). We’ve done sign language, animal sounds, verbal routines, and nonreal words. The bottom line is: He’s just not talking. And it’s driving me nuts. I mean, I went to school for 6 years on this topic. I should be able to FIX this.
I’m going to say it again: Parenting is such a humbling experience isn’t it? We think we know exactly how our children are going to turn out and who we can mold them to be but the reality is they are wonderfully created as their own little people-apart from us.
I finally had to ask myself: Why am I struggling with this so much? What is the real reason? And do you know what I discovered? I realized this had nothing at all to do with him but everything to do with me. I hate asking for help. I hate looking like I can’t fix something. It was a pride thing. And that’s not fair.
Sometimes, as parents we have blind spots to our children. Do teachers, even the very best teachers, refuse to let their children be taught by other teachers? Or what about doctors? Do they get insecure taking their children to other doctors of different specialities?
So here I am. Swallowing my parent pride. And I hope this little post will encourage you as well.
- To seek out others
- To ask questions
- To not let your pride get in the way of progress
- To be okay with saying “I don’t know” but not stopping there
I’m getting excited to see what will come. I’ll keep you posted. Do you have any similar experiences?
Let me know below.
*Also, just in case you’re in the dark like I was, Help Me Grow is a FREE service for parents of children up to 3 years of age. Absolutely Amazing. Check them out.