Motivating those “Hard to Motivate” Students

Ohhhhh yes. You know the one. I’m even willing to bet you’re picturing the exact student right now. The student that, no matter what you’ve tried,

is. not. motivated.

To do anything.

So what do you do? I’m going to list out my bag of tricks here because, like you, I’ve had my share of these students. Ranging from the preschool student who would hide under the table and refuse to come out, to the student who had selective mutism and did not talk until 2 years after I began working with him, to the middle school student who would simply just stare at me and tell me how much he hated speech.

And I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s not hard. Because it is. There have been tears spilled over these students.  There have been doubts, and disappointments, and feelings of inadequacy, and often it didn’t matter if the other 70 students on my caseload were making progress, THIS one student would be the one to occupy my mind.

So, in addition to giving you a few things that have worked for me, I also want to encourage you. You’re not alone. We’ve ALL been there. Here’s a few things that have worked for me and they may or may not work for you. But it’s worth a try, right?

Here are my top recommendations when working with difficult-to-motivate students:

1. Relationship first. I know you already know this but these students in particular have a nose for smelling out if you truly value them, simply in and of themselves, or if you’re looking for something else, such as what they can do. If they sense for a moment it’s the latter, they won’t budge and time will be lost. Depending on the student, this might mean you need to put the goals on hold for a session…or two, and simply get to know the person across the table.
2. Be honest with this student in a loving way while also promoting him to “leader.” Oh how I’m reminded of Ephesians 4:15 calling us to “speak the truth in love” but man is it HARD. In these instances, I’ve sat the student down alone, told him (or her) first how I care about him, how all the teachers care about him, how we want to see him succeed but honestly, how his behavior is making this difficult.
   • And then promote him to a leadership role. This strategy has worked with a few of my most difficult-to-motivate students. Tell him that you’ve noticed other students looking up to him, following his lead, that you know he has amazing leadership abilities. Tell him you need him to be example for other students in the group and ask him how we can make this happen. There’s something about the concept of a “leader” that makes people change their behavior. Try it and see what happens.
3. Figure out his/her likes/special interests. How? Ask the student! I’m always surprised sometimes when a meeting is called and the parents and teachers are asked about student preferences and motivators but no one actually sat down and asked the student.
   • Is he motivated by seeing his own progress? Make a visual chart for him to do the data collecting.
   • Is he motivated by leading others? Designate a couple of minutes at the end of each session where he is the teacher.
   • Is he motivated by dinosaurs/excavators/baby elephants? Designate a few minutes at the end of the session to simply take his lead and learn about these interests on the iPad or computer.
4. Keep experimenting. Often with these students it is SO easy to get into a rut. To say, “Well, this, this, and this didn’t work so my student must not be motivated by ANYTHING.” If nothing else, let’s demonstrate to our students what “life-long learners” look like and the ability to keep persevering through difficulty by continuing to try new things.
   • This might mean experimenting with when the reinforcement occurs. For the majority of my students, the concept of “work first/play later” works. But for a few students, getting out the iPad and investing in their special interest FIRST for a couple of minutes actually warms them up to be able to work later.
   • This might mean experimenting with how the reinforcement occurs. Perhaps try switching from the computer to your phone, or perhaps instead of just looking up a special interest (baby elephants) try having that student teach the others in his group about them.
   • This might mean experimenting with where the reinforcement occurs. Try switching up praising their efforts from during the session to praising him in front of his teacher when he returns to class or even making a phone call home in front of him to speak praise to his parents. The key here is that he hears it but it could be motivating for your student for different people to hear it.
5. Think in terms of VISUALS. We all know the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” but it really is true. Instead of saying, “eyes on the paper,” have a picture of it. Instead of saying, “time to sit on your chair” take a picture of a time the student is sitting in a chair and pull it out next time you need this reminder. I have a great resource I use for this called Custom Visuals.  For a few of my students, I’ve even make a social video. This is a video that I take of the student doing a task with support. I then edit out the support to make it look like the student is doing the task independently and put it to some music (really easy to do with iMovie on your iPad). Each time I have done this, the student completely lights up at seeing him the video and is highly motivated to do it independently.
6. Finally, my last (and perhaps most important piece of advice) has nothing to do with the student and everything to do with you. Start each session with a clean-slate-mindset. And friend, this is SO hard but SO important. We need to be the adults in the session. There is no room at the table for both progress with a difficult-to-motivate student AND grudges.
   • Did that student glare at you the entire time and refuse to speak? The next session, it’s forgotten and you start with a clean slate.
   • Did that student say they hate speech, hate the activity, hate you? The next session, it’s forgotten and you start with a clean slate.
   • Did that student kick and scream and hide under the table? The next session, it’s forgotten and you start with a clean slate.

And there they are! And if you try everything listed here and still nothing works? I’d reach out to you (pretend we are sharing a cup of coffee in this moment) and ask you one question.

“Does this student know, without a doubt, that you care for him (or her)?”

And I can already say I know the answer to that question. Because you’re reading this post. You’re here for that ONE student looking for ways to reach out. And that, makes me know, without a doubt, that you do indeed care.

There are a few students I believe God gives us to perhaps not make such a huge difference in their lives but instead change our lives. And that is my prayer for you today facing this one student.